1 00:00:25,147 --> 00:00:28,014 Ah, thank you, lexie. 2 00:00:33,021 --> 00:00:34,954 - Anything for me? - I fear not. 3 00:00:34,956 --> 00:00:37,090 What about that? It's from the bank, look. 4 00:00:37,092 --> 00:00:39,025 Yes, but it is addressed to me, see? 5 00:00:39,027 --> 00:00:40,760 Hector m. Macdonald, esquire. 6 00:00:40,762 --> 00:00:42,429 It must be estate business. 7 00:00:43,765 --> 00:00:45,831 I had hoped the new world order 8 00:00:45,833 --> 00:00:48,535 Might allow a chap to open his own correspondence. 9 00:01:48,363 --> 00:01:49,895 Tell me, boy... 10 00:01:49,897 --> 00:01:51,498 Do you count packing suitcases 11 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,666 As your very favorite hobby? 12 00:01:56,204 --> 00:01:58,938 - Are you in pain? - Archie: it's my back. 13 00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:01,841 If i'm gonna stay, i'll have to do something about that mattress, 14 00:02:01,843 --> 00:02:05,211 - It's like a sack of king edward's. - Right. 15 00:02:05,213 --> 00:02:07,780 Of course, so, you're staying on? 16 00:02:07,782 --> 00:02:09,415 No. 17 00:02:09,417 --> 00:02:11,584 Well, yes. Just for a while, 18 00:02:11,586 --> 00:02:13,886 Just to straighten a few things out. Okay? 19 00:02:13,888 --> 00:02:15,155 I think so. 20 00:02:15,157 --> 00:02:17,490 But, if you're staying, why are you going? 21 00:02:17,492 --> 00:02:19,792 To talk things over with justine and work out 22 00:02:19,794 --> 00:02:22,562 How we're going to manage the restaurant in the meantime. 23 00:02:22,564 --> 00:02:25,165 I feel sorry for justine, but i'm glad for our sakes, 24 00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:28,000 - We're both glad. Aren't we, hector? - ( murmurs ) 25 00:02:28,002 --> 00:02:31,304 I still believe the only long-Term option is to sell the place. 26 00:02:31,306 --> 00:02:33,306 - Look here! - We'll get a much better price 27 00:02:33,308 --> 00:02:35,175 If we straighten out the accounts 28 00:02:35,177 --> 00:02:38,411 And start capitalizing on some of our primary assets. 29 00:02:38,413 --> 00:02:39,845 So what did he say? 30 00:02:39,847 --> 00:02:42,182 That the estate needed every asset it had, 31 00:02:42,184 --> 00:02:44,417 That they couldn't afford to give land away, 32 00:02:44,419 --> 00:02:47,053 Maybe later, when he's had a chance to think about it, 33 00:02:47,055 --> 00:02:49,389 - Blah, blah, blah. - No land, no new gymnasium. 34 00:02:49,391 --> 00:02:51,291 For the time being, anyway. 35 00:02:51,293 --> 00:02:54,160 What a shame. It's just a piece of old pasture. 36 00:02:54,162 --> 00:02:55,628 I'm disappointed in the laird. 37 00:02:55,630 --> 00:02:57,564 I wish you wouldn't call him that. 38 00:02:57,566 --> 00:02:59,599 Sometimes i think you do it deliberately. 39 00:02:59,601 --> 00:03:01,901 I'm off training. I'll see you after break. 40 00:03:01,903 --> 00:03:04,970 Has the laird put his name down for the hill race? 41 00:03:04,972 --> 00:03:07,740 I don't know and i don't care. 42 00:03:07,742 --> 00:03:10,843 This is one race i'm going to win without his permission. 43 00:03:14,782 --> 00:03:16,282 Duncan! 44 00:03:16,284 --> 00:03:18,851 I thought i was a character in "the godfather" there. 45 00:03:18,853 --> 00:03:20,786 - Hello, lexie. - What are you doing? 46 00:03:20,788 --> 00:03:22,922 Your very hilarious bat impression? 47 00:03:22,924 --> 00:03:25,191 Training for the race, watch this. 48 00:03:26,461 --> 00:03:28,261 I can do 50 of these. 49 00:03:28,263 --> 00:03:30,230 Plus your body's compensating 50 00:03:30,232 --> 00:03:32,232 For the lack of muscle elsewhere. 51 00:03:32,234 --> 00:03:34,234 I'm not just talking about your brain. 52 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,203 What's happening? 53 00:03:37,205 --> 00:03:40,139 Well, he's stopping... And he's going. 54 00:03:40,141 --> 00:03:42,041 Eh? 55 00:03:42,043 --> 00:03:45,245 He's going to london for a spot of conjugal with this justine bint, 56 00:03:45,247 --> 00:03:47,880 Then he's coming back here to sort things out. 57 00:03:47,882 --> 00:03:50,283 Which probably means giving us all the push. 58 00:03:51,786 --> 00:03:53,519 Well, don't just stand there, 59 00:03:53,521 --> 00:03:55,921 His gorgeousness will be wanting a lift. 60 00:03:55,923 --> 00:03:57,823 Oh. Aye... 61 00:04:00,462 --> 00:04:01,861 Duncan? 62 00:04:03,298 --> 00:04:05,265 Duncan? 63 00:04:16,544 --> 00:04:18,043 Right. 64 00:04:20,615 --> 00:04:22,415 Duncan. 65 00:04:22,417 --> 00:04:23,716 Hang on. 66 00:04:26,421 --> 00:04:28,254 Off to wage war. 67 00:04:28,256 --> 00:04:30,690 Give me a lift to the front, would you? 68 00:04:40,702 --> 00:04:42,268 Thank you, men. 69 00:05:32,286 --> 00:05:33,453 Drop it. 70 00:05:33,455 --> 00:05:34,387 Drop it! 71 00:05:36,424 --> 00:05:38,057 Turn around slowly. 72 00:05:39,427 --> 00:05:40,993 Hande hoch. 73 00:05:42,564 --> 00:05:46,098 Sorry, kilwillie, but for you the war is over. 74 00:06:25,973 --> 00:06:27,740 See you in a couple of weeks. 75 00:06:28,843 --> 00:06:30,309 Afternoon. 76 00:06:30,311 --> 00:06:32,111 Where can i get a taxi? 77 00:06:32,113 --> 00:06:35,381 - Inverness would be your best bet. - That's rather inconvenient. 78 00:06:35,383 --> 00:06:38,484 - Where are you going? - A place called glenbogle house. 79 00:06:38,486 --> 00:06:40,085 That's where i live. 80 00:06:40,087 --> 00:06:42,889 I don't actually live there, i live in, um— never mind. 81 00:06:42,891 --> 00:06:44,323 Archie macdonald. 82 00:06:44,325 --> 00:06:46,358 Any relation of one hector macdonald? 83 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,360 Yeah, he's my father. And you are? 84 00:06:48,362 --> 00:06:50,095 Fleming. 85 00:06:50,097 --> 00:06:52,097 I represent his bank, lascelles. 86 00:06:52,099 --> 00:06:55,868 Your father's failed to reply to my letters. 87 00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:57,102 I see. 88 00:07:03,878 --> 00:07:05,845 Well, maybe we can give you a lift. 89 00:07:08,115 --> 00:07:11,183 Why don't we do waterloo? I could be napoleon. 90 00:07:11,185 --> 00:07:13,986 Or what about agincourt? We've never fought agincourt. 91 00:07:13,988 --> 00:07:16,989 Bows and arrows. Boring. I want guns, cannon. 92 00:07:16,991 --> 00:07:19,058 - Malplaquet? - Nah. 93 00:07:20,227 --> 00:07:22,127 - El alamein? - No! 94 00:07:23,531 --> 00:07:25,631 Iwo jima? 95 00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:27,533 An american battle? Please, kilwillie. 96 00:07:27,535 --> 00:07:29,735 Culloden, you can be bonnie prince charlie, 97 00:07:29,737 --> 00:07:31,604 I shall be butcher cumberland. 98 00:07:31,606 --> 00:07:33,372 I'm always bonnie prince charlie. 99 00:07:33,374 --> 00:07:36,141 That's because you're rather corpulent and fond of the sauce. 100 00:07:36,143 --> 00:07:37,910 Come, to battle. 101 00:07:37,912 --> 00:07:39,579 It is a misty, damp morning 102 00:07:39,581 --> 00:07:42,381 On the desolate moor of culloden. 103 00:07:42,383 --> 00:07:44,984 Sorry remnants of the great jacobite dream 104 00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:47,186 Stand facing their nemesis, 105 00:07:47,188 --> 00:07:49,956 The english army. 106 00:07:49,958 --> 00:07:53,025 Would you care for something tasty on an oatcake? 107 00:07:53,027 --> 00:07:54,861 It's a new line of ours. 108 00:07:54,863 --> 00:07:57,162 Kilwillie's gentlemen's relish. 109 00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:04,837 Oh, god! Oh! Ow! 110 00:08:04,839 --> 00:08:07,439 Don't worry, they're very friendly. 111 00:08:07,441 --> 00:08:09,475 Take no notice of them. 112 00:08:09,477 --> 00:08:11,343 It's just their way of saying hello. 113 00:08:11,345 --> 00:08:13,713 Monty, rommel, down! No, no, stop it. 114 00:08:16,117 --> 00:08:18,584 They're perfectly friendly, once you get to know them. 115 00:08:18,586 --> 00:08:20,419 As i was saying, there's a lot 116 00:08:20,421 --> 00:08:22,522 Of interesting history about this house, really. 117 00:08:22,524 --> 00:08:24,790 My great-Great-Grandfather built the place in the 1870s, 118 00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:26,859 But there had been a castle here before that. 119 00:08:26,861 --> 00:08:28,728 Queen victoria came to stay once. 120 00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:30,429 But, apparently she caught a cold, 121 00:08:30,431 --> 00:08:32,064 And had to leave rather quickly. 122 00:08:32,066 --> 00:08:34,000 My family have been here for 400 years. 123 00:08:34,002 --> 00:08:36,201 I'm sure the early chiefs were utter rogues, but— 124 00:08:36,203 --> 00:08:38,270 Mr. Macdonald, you're obviously confusing me 125 00:08:38,272 --> 00:08:40,205 With somebody who does give a monkey's. 126 00:08:40,207 --> 00:08:42,141 I'm not a tripper or a tourist, 127 00:08:42,143 --> 00:08:44,977 Or a loud american in tartan trousers from omaha. 128 00:08:44,979 --> 00:08:46,412 I am a banker... 129 00:08:46,414 --> 00:08:49,582 Who drew a very short straw, and traveled a ridiculous distance 130 00:08:49,584 --> 00:08:52,151 To conduct an even smaller piece of business, 131 00:08:52,153 --> 00:08:56,055 It seems at the cost of a very expensive pair of boston loafers. 132 00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:58,090 Now, can you please call your father 133 00:08:58,092 --> 00:09:00,560 So we can get it over with? 134 00:09:00,562 --> 00:09:02,394 Maybe we should go to the library? 135 00:09:06,434 --> 00:09:08,467 Lexie? Lexie, i know you're there. 136 00:09:12,106 --> 00:09:14,707 Who's your friend? What's he in such a strop for? 137 00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:18,110 I want tea in the library. Two people, nice china, bits to eat. 138 00:09:31,392 --> 00:09:34,193 I presume your visit's related to our indebtedness at the bank? 139 00:09:34,195 --> 00:09:35,995 To a defaulted loan, 140 00:09:35,997 --> 00:09:38,764 And a breeched overdraft limit, yes. 141 00:09:38,766 --> 00:09:40,766 Mr. Fleming, i'd like to talk to you 142 00:09:40,768 --> 00:09:42,735 About my plans for the future. 143 00:09:42,737 --> 00:09:44,904 You see, i own the estate now. 144 00:09:44,906 --> 00:09:46,872 I have to tell you that as from monday, 145 00:09:46,874 --> 00:09:48,741 Your family's accounts will be suspended. 146 00:09:48,743 --> 00:09:51,143 The bank will then proceed to call in the loan. 147 00:09:51,145 --> 00:09:53,278 You must find the funds to repay it, 148 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,848 I presume by selling whatever assets you possess. 149 00:09:57,284 --> 00:09:58,684 The estate is all we have. 150 00:09:58,686 --> 00:10:00,486 So be it. 151 00:10:00,488 --> 00:10:03,455 Mr. Fleming, my mother and father 152 00:10:03,457 --> 00:10:05,625 Can't leave here. 153 00:10:07,795 --> 00:10:11,263 I don't seem to be making myself understood. 154 00:10:11,265 --> 00:10:13,899 Let me put it to you 155 00:10:15,103 --> 00:10:18,137 I'm here to close you down. 156 00:10:39,627 --> 00:10:42,161 That is for the nice gentleman. 157 00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:44,930 If you're hungry, get yourself some bread and dripping. 158 00:10:47,401 --> 00:10:49,769 Here we are. Tea up. 159 00:10:49,771 --> 00:10:53,338 And you must be our very important guest. 160 00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:56,142 Mr. Fleming, is it? I've got an uncle called fleming, 161 00:10:56,144 --> 00:10:58,144 You're not from paisley, are you? 162 00:10:58,146 --> 00:10:59,945 I live in ealing. 163 00:10:59,947 --> 00:11:02,447 W-Well, west ealing, a-Almost as far as hanwell. 164 00:11:02,449 --> 00:11:05,785 My, that sounds... Complicated. 165 00:11:05,787 --> 00:11:07,186 Yes, thank you— 166 00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:09,121 You look like a man with a big appetite, 167 00:11:09,123 --> 00:11:11,657 So, i've brought you a few things to get your teeth into, 168 00:11:11,659 --> 00:11:14,326 Some pancakes, drop scones and that. 169 00:11:14,328 --> 00:11:16,028 All freshly baked, i hope? 170 00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:18,330 They were when they left the factory. 171 00:11:18,332 --> 00:11:20,800 No, all home baked. 172 00:11:20,802 --> 00:11:22,467 Anyway, well, mr. Fleming— 173 00:11:22,469 --> 00:11:25,838 Oh, heck, this is no good, what's your first name? 174 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,774 - Me? - I'm not crossed-Eyed, pet. 175 00:11:28,776 --> 00:11:31,276 I am looking into your deep blue eyes. 176 00:11:32,479 --> 00:11:35,114 I-I couldn't possibly say. 177 00:11:35,116 --> 00:11:36,982 Man of mystery. 178 00:11:36,984 --> 00:11:39,551 I'll wheedle it out of you one way or the other. 179 00:11:39,553 --> 00:11:42,822 Anyway, i'm away to get one of those 180 00:11:42,824 --> 00:11:45,357 13 spare rooms ready for you. One of the better ones. 181 00:11:45,359 --> 00:11:47,559 One that's been slept in in the last century— 182 00:11:47,561 --> 00:11:48,961 But, i couldn't possibly stay— 183 00:11:48,963 --> 00:11:51,997 Oh, what happened to your slip-On? 184 00:11:55,469 --> 00:11:57,603 Oh, your poor wee tassle. 185 00:11:57,605 --> 00:11:59,905 Let me look at it for you. 186 00:12:01,008 --> 00:12:02,241 Come on. 187 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,675 Trust me. 188 00:12:11,652 --> 00:12:13,052 ( softly ) there. 189 00:12:14,922 --> 00:12:16,989 Oh dear, oh dear. 190 00:12:16,991 --> 00:12:19,458 I'll tell you what i'll do, 191 00:12:19,460 --> 00:12:22,327 I'll get the estate's resident cobbler to fix it for you. 192 00:12:22,329 --> 00:12:24,029 Okay? 193 00:12:28,136 --> 00:12:30,136 Now you'll have to stay, won't you? 194 00:12:33,574 --> 00:12:35,274 Who was that? 195 00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:36,942 Oh, that was lexie. 196 00:12:36,944 --> 00:12:39,311 She kind of runs the place. 197 00:12:39,313 --> 00:12:40,880 Tea? 198 00:12:43,617 --> 00:12:44,817 Ah. 199 00:12:44,819 --> 00:12:47,253 Thanks for the game, kilwillie, i really enjoyed it. 200 00:12:47,255 --> 00:12:49,321 Not very surprising, you won. 201 00:12:49,323 --> 00:12:52,224 Of course i did. Where would we be if bonnie prince charlie 202 00:12:52,226 --> 00:12:54,426 Suddenly started winning the battle of culloden? 203 00:12:54,428 --> 00:12:56,695 Living in a country that had been independent 204 00:12:56,697 --> 00:12:58,764 For two and a half centuries, probably. 205 00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:00,532 What an appalling thought. 206 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,713 But who is he, archie? 207 00:13:14,715 --> 00:13:16,381 Someone very powerful, mother, 208 00:13:16,383 --> 00:13:18,784 Someone who could turn us all out of here. 209 00:13:18,786 --> 00:13:22,554 - What's he doing, lexie? - Some personal grooming. 210 00:13:22,556 --> 00:13:24,623 Right. Here's what we have to do. 211 00:13:24,625 --> 00:13:27,092 We have to persuade him, seduce him— 212 00:13:27,094 --> 00:13:28,260 Oh, aye? 213 00:13:28,262 --> 00:13:31,130 And who's gonna do that, then? 214 00:13:31,132 --> 00:13:33,232 Is there something wrong with your jaw? 215 00:13:33,234 --> 00:13:35,968 Make him see that this is a place with potential, 216 00:13:35,970 --> 00:13:39,104 That we can put it back on its feet, that his bank's money is safe with us. 217 00:13:39,106 --> 00:13:41,173 What do you want us to do, then? 218 00:13:41,175 --> 00:13:44,576 Do? Yes, do. Um... 219 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,247 Well... 220 00:13:50,318 --> 00:13:52,818 I'll make a presentation. Yes, he'll like that, 221 00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:56,155 A presentation about how we're gonna develop the place. 222 00:13:56,157 --> 00:13:59,358 Golly, you and duncan show him the estate, give him some sport. 223 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,827 Make sure he catches something really big, okay? 224 00:14:01,829 --> 00:14:04,196 But i've got my final training for the hill race. 225 00:14:04,198 --> 00:14:07,099 Mother, maybe you could give him a tour of the house? 226 00:14:07,101 --> 00:14:09,801 Or i wonder if he's interested in gardening? 227 00:14:09,803 --> 00:14:11,871 I'm desperately in need of some help. 228 00:14:11,873 --> 00:14:13,538 And you, lexie, 229 00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:16,175 Just be nice to him, okay? 230 00:14:16,177 --> 00:14:17,843 Yes, oh master. 231 00:14:17,845 --> 00:14:19,979 He shall be as putty in my windows. 232 00:14:19,981 --> 00:14:22,581 Yeah, and it'll be curtains for him if he doesn't mind out. 233 00:14:22,583 --> 00:14:24,549 There, nancy-Boy's shoe's all done. 234 00:14:24,551 --> 00:14:28,053 The most important thing, all of you, is we must keep him away from my father. 235 00:14:28,055 --> 00:14:30,589 From now on, we must make sure that he's never on his own, 236 00:14:30,591 --> 00:14:33,959 That he can't be got at by the old man because that could be disastrous. 237 00:14:33,961 --> 00:14:35,327 Ah, archie. 238 00:14:38,132 --> 00:14:40,799 - ( boat horn honking ) - Oh, no! 239 00:14:44,705 --> 00:14:46,372 Hey, you? 240 00:14:47,574 --> 00:14:48,840 Yes, you! 241 00:14:48,842 --> 00:14:50,976 - Take the painter. - The what? 242 00:14:50,978 --> 00:14:53,078 The rope, you dolt! 243 00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,081 Oh, hold on, come on, man. 244 00:14:56,083 --> 00:14:57,917 Over there, what's the matter with you? 245 00:15:02,689 --> 00:15:04,223 You can let go now. 246 00:15:06,460 --> 00:15:09,028 - Thanks, kilwillie, off you go. - Bye, old man. 247 00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:12,064 Next time, i'll grind you into the dust, at bull run! 248 00:15:17,271 --> 00:15:19,171 One of those water board bods, are ya? 249 00:15:19,173 --> 00:15:20,172 Pardon? 250 00:15:20,174 --> 00:15:21,473 What is it this time? 251 00:15:21,475 --> 00:15:23,909 Measuring acid rain or some such nonsense? 252 00:15:23,911 --> 00:15:25,110 You must be hector macdonald. 253 00:15:25,112 --> 00:15:26,611 Sir to you. 254 00:15:26,613 --> 00:15:29,114 You chaps have such a comfy billet. 255 00:15:29,116 --> 00:15:31,984 And the likes of me pay for it. 256 00:15:31,986 --> 00:15:34,453 As far as i can see, mr. Macdonald, you pay for very little. 257 00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,221 What did you say? 258 00:15:36,223 --> 00:15:38,824 I'll take my foot to your tradesmen's entrance in a minute. 259 00:15:38,826 --> 00:15:41,360 Father! 260 00:15:41,362 --> 00:15:44,063 I don't work for the water board, i represent your bank. 261 00:15:44,065 --> 00:15:46,731 I thought it was going downhill. Some kind of clerk, are you? 262 00:15:46,733 --> 00:15:48,733 Account executive. 263 00:15:48,735 --> 00:15:50,836 I have written to you repeatedly in the last six months 264 00:15:50,838 --> 00:15:52,271 Regarding your very serious position. 265 00:15:52,273 --> 00:15:54,306 - You never replied. - Of course not. 266 00:15:54,308 --> 00:15:56,308 I have learned through bitter experience 267 00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:58,743 That acknowledging the pettifogging outpourings 268 00:15:58,745 --> 00:16:00,245 Of pen-Pushing nobodies 269 00:16:00,247 --> 00:16:02,614 Is unlikely to increase the sum of human happiness. 270 00:16:02,616 --> 00:16:04,516 Mine especially. 271 00:16:04,518 --> 00:16:06,618 Mr. Macdonald, you are a very rude man. 272 00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:08,753 And you, sir, are a very dull one. 273 00:16:08,755 --> 00:16:11,457 - You are also drunk! - But i shall be sober in the morning. 274 00:16:11,459 --> 00:16:14,226 Anyway, it's my prerogative. You are standing on my land! 275 00:16:14,228 --> 00:16:16,095 Not for very much longer, i'm happy to say! 276 00:16:16,097 --> 00:16:18,663 Mr. Fleming, take no notice of my father— 277 00:16:18,665 --> 00:16:21,133 I'm going to my room. I shall be obliged 278 00:16:21,135 --> 00:16:23,969 If you could have a sandwich and milk sent up to me later. 279 00:16:23,971 --> 00:16:26,038 Won't you join us for dinner? 280 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,807 I'll inspect your books and accounts tomorrow morning. 281 00:16:28,809 --> 00:16:31,710 We can resolve any outstanding business shortly after that. 282 00:16:38,619 --> 00:16:40,219 ( laughs ) that showed him. 283 00:16:40,221 --> 00:16:41,987 Doesn't do to let these fellows 284 00:16:41,989 --> 00:16:43,989 Get the upper hand, you know, archie. 285 00:16:56,270 --> 00:16:59,138 - Are you okay, dougal? - I wanted to give you this. 286 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:01,407 To make you smell nice. 287 00:17:01,409 --> 00:17:03,042 I hope you mean 288 00:17:03,044 --> 00:17:04,943 To make me smell even nicer. 289 00:17:06,047 --> 00:17:07,946 Did you buy this with your own money? 290 00:17:07,948 --> 00:17:09,915 My mom got it for christmas, 291 00:17:09,917 --> 00:17:12,451 But she doesn't like it. I love you, miss. 292 00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:25,164 Look, i'll do your deal. 293 00:17:25,166 --> 00:17:27,899 You can have the land for that gym thing. 294 00:17:27,901 --> 00:17:29,501 Go on. 295 00:17:29,503 --> 00:17:32,104 Well, the thing is, um... 296 00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:35,140 What are you doing tonight? 297 00:17:35,142 --> 00:17:36,708 I was gonna worm the dog, 298 00:17:36,710 --> 00:17:38,444 But i guess it'll keep. 299 00:17:40,181 --> 00:17:42,381 I suppose it was golly who told you 300 00:17:42,383 --> 00:17:44,483 I could cook books better than a boiled egg. 301 00:17:44,485 --> 00:17:45,584 No comment. 302 00:17:52,193 --> 00:17:53,792 This is going to take hours. 303 00:17:53,794 --> 00:17:55,894 It's very good of you. 304 00:17:55,896 --> 00:17:57,762 As long as you keep your side of the bargain. 305 00:17:57,764 --> 00:18:00,099 I've given you the word of a macdonald. 306 00:18:02,169 --> 00:18:03,768 Very reassuring. 307 00:18:23,023 --> 00:18:25,324 Showing me your best side, are ya? 308 00:18:25,326 --> 00:18:27,559 Ooh! God. 309 00:18:28,829 --> 00:18:30,295 I was just um... 310 00:18:30,297 --> 00:18:32,631 Is that a pair of m and s slacks in your hand? 311 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,600 Or are you just pleased to see me? 312 00:18:34,602 --> 00:18:36,502 They're wet. 313 00:18:36,504 --> 00:18:38,270 I was trying to turn the radiator on. 314 00:18:38,272 --> 00:18:40,038 Ah, yes, now the heating 315 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,873 Doesn't come on till the first frost, 316 00:18:41,875 --> 00:18:42,907 Or the first of september, 317 00:18:42,909 --> 00:18:44,276 Whichever comes sooner. 318 00:18:44,278 --> 00:18:46,778 Gimme. I'll sort them for you. 319 00:18:50,951 --> 00:18:53,852 I take it you're not dining with the addams family tonight then? 320 00:18:53,854 --> 00:18:56,321 - Definitely not. - Shame. 321 00:18:56,323 --> 00:18:58,490 You're missing out on some rare fun. 322 00:19:00,427 --> 00:19:02,827 Oh! And thank you. 323 00:19:02,829 --> 00:19:05,697 You have shone a bright light into the dull drabness of my day. 324 00:19:05,699 --> 00:19:07,599 I have? 325 00:19:07,601 --> 00:19:11,870 It is no sight sweeter, more pregnant with pathos and vulnerability, 326 00:19:11,872 --> 00:19:15,940 Than a slender-Legged gadgy, standing in his wee y-Fronts and socks. 327 00:19:15,942 --> 00:19:17,075 Night, night. 328 00:19:33,494 --> 00:19:35,494 Archie, you know, 329 00:19:35,496 --> 00:19:37,162 These are just total rubbish. 330 00:19:37,164 --> 00:19:39,231 Be fair, they're probably not as good as that. 331 00:19:40,867 --> 00:19:43,034 - I'm doing my best, okay? - I'm grateful. 332 00:19:46,574 --> 00:19:49,508 You trained for this sort of thing originally? 333 00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:51,643 When i first left university, 334 00:19:51,645 --> 00:19:54,279 I went to work for a bank in edinburgh, 335 00:19:54,281 --> 00:19:55,780 Small business advisor. 336 00:19:57,284 --> 00:20:00,952 I had some great clients. A man who gelded horses, 337 00:20:00,954 --> 00:20:03,855 Two brothers who made italian ice cream... 338 00:20:05,526 --> 00:20:07,759 And a very refined lady from morningside, 339 00:20:07,761 --> 00:20:09,894 Who ran a personal therapy center. 340 00:20:09,896 --> 00:20:11,563 Oh, yeah? 341 00:20:11,565 --> 00:20:14,633 - She offered me a job. - Is that right? 342 00:20:14,635 --> 00:20:16,801 As her business manager, smarty pants. 343 00:20:16,803 --> 00:20:18,704 And you didn't take it? 344 00:20:18,706 --> 00:20:21,206 Those girls'd be earning twice as much as me. 345 00:20:21,208 --> 00:20:23,375 I'd have found that very irritating. 346 00:20:23,377 --> 00:20:24,876 Not to say tempting. 347 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,247 So, you became a teacher and came back here. 348 00:20:28,249 --> 00:20:30,014 What on earth made you do that? 349 00:20:32,319 --> 00:20:35,554 I just felt maybe i could make a difference, simple as that. 350 00:20:35,556 --> 00:20:38,156 Miss jean brodie, you're in your prime. 351 00:20:38,158 --> 00:20:40,592 Don't patronize me, archie macdonald. 352 00:20:40,594 --> 00:20:42,327 I'm not, i envy you. 353 00:20:42,329 --> 00:20:45,397 You seem so certain, so sure. 354 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:47,766 Do i? 355 00:20:50,371 --> 00:20:52,837 I don't know what the hell i'm doing. 356 00:20:59,946 --> 00:21:01,580 So... 357 00:21:01,582 --> 00:21:04,316 You're going to make a presentation to this guy, are you? 358 00:21:08,255 --> 00:21:10,689 - You toe rag! - What? 359 00:21:10,691 --> 00:21:12,658 Increased rents on land and properties. 360 00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:15,460 It's just an idea. A way we might increase our revenue. 361 00:21:15,462 --> 00:21:17,929 So far as i can see, rents haven't gone up in years. 362 00:21:17,931 --> 00:21:19,665 For a very good reason. 363 00:21:19,667 --> 00:21:21,833 People couldn't afford to pay them. 364 00:21:21,835 --> 00:21:24,403 Look, it's just for this man, fleming, nothing definite. 365 00:21:24,405 --> 00:21:26,271 You would say that, wouldn't you? 366 00:21:26,273 --> 00:21:28,206 Until you got what you wanted from me. 367 00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:29,974 What am i doing here? 368 00:21:29,976 --> 00:21:32,043 I'm off. 369 00:21:33,447 --> 00:21:34,913 Leave me in the lurch, would you? 370 00:21:34,915 --> 00:21:37,148 You'll survive. Your sort always do. 371 00:21:37,150 --> 00:21:39,050 My sort? Katrina— 372 00:21:39,052 --> 00:21:40,885 Once a landlord, always a landlord. 373 00:21:40,887 --> 00:21:43,455 You spent too much time with that personal therapist. 374 00:21:43,457 --> 00:21:46,057 Gave you a wrong slant on human nature. 375 00:21:46,059 --> 00:21:48,694 And you can kiss goodbye to that bit of land, too! 376 00:22:37,010 --> 00:22:39,711 It's not an original. 377 00:22:39,713 --> 00:22:42,313 That's in the national gallery in edinburgh now. 378 00:22:42,315 --> 00:22:45,316 Hector had a copy made when he flogged the other one. 379 00:22:45,318 --> 00:22:47,619 It paid for central heating. 380 00:22:50,023 --> 00:22:52,557 Sometimes i think i'd rather be cold. 381 00:22:52,559 --> 00:22:54,626 She's very beautiful. 382 00:22:57,931 --> 00:22:59,798 Ancestor. 383 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,166 Died in childbirth when she was 27. 384 00:23:05,439 --> 00:23:07,272 Nightshirt okay for you, is it? 385 00:23:10,444 --> 00:23:12,411 My... 386 00:23:12,413 --> 00:23:15,013 Lady catherine's made quite an impression on you, hasn't she? 387 00:23:17,183 --> 00:23:19,618 She reminds me of my mother. 388 00:23:22,856 --> 00:23:24,856 Better get off to bed. 389 00:23:26,092 --> 00:23:27,859 Long day. 390 00:23:29,663 --> 00:23:31,329 I'll say good night, then. 391 00:23:33,867 --> 00:23:37,201 Oh, it's two short pulls, and one long one, by the way. 392 00:23:39,005 --> 00:23:40,238 The lavvy. 393 00:23:46,780 --> 00:23:48,413 So that's it. All right. 394 00:23:48,415 --> 00:23:51,282 I can't leave while he's here, but i'll be down soon. 395 00:23:53,687 --> 00:23:55,454 You're not saying very much. 396 00:23:55,456 --> 00:23:56,888 What's there to say? 397 00:23:56,890 --> 00:23:58,924 I mean, you're taking it very calmly. 398 00:23:58,926 --> 00:24:01,125 What do you want me to do? Get hysterical? 399 00:24:03,063 --> 00:24:04,563 I wish you'd say something. 400 00:24:06,366 --> 00:24:07,933 Justine? 401 00:24:10,270 --> 00:24:12,771 Maybe we should think about hiring a temporary manager. 402 00:24:12,773 --> 00:24:15,039 - No. - Just to tide things over. 403 00:24:15,041 --> 00:24:16,808 Archie, i have to cope, 404 00:24:16,810 --> 00:24:19,077 While you're off doing your mel gibson thing. 405 00:24:19,079 --> 00:24:21,813 I'd rather i didn't, but, hey, it's a tough world. 406 00:24:21,815 --> 00:24:24,015 I'll manage in my own way, thank you very much, 407 00:24:24,017 --> 00:24:26,685 Without the benefit of your distant and rather fatuous advice. 408 00:24:27,955 --> 00:24:29,688 Maybe we should talk about this later. 409 00:24:29,690 --> 00:24:32,691 Yes. Later. And then some more. 410 00:24:32,693 --> 00:24:34,292 - Okay. - Okay. 411 00:24:37,464 --> 00:24:40,732 Men— sometimes you have to wipe their bottoms, 412 00:24:40,734 --> 00:24:42,868 Sometimes you have to kick them. 413 00:25:11,197 --> 00:25:13,398 Good morning. Hope you slept well. 414 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,901 I heard animals in the night. 415 00:25:15,903 --> 00:25:18,036 Grunting, howling. 416 00:25:18,038 --> 00:25:21,039 Probably just my father. ( laughs ) 417 00:25:23,510 --> 00:25:25,410 I-I brought the books. 418 00:25:28,048 --> 00:25:30,515 Perhaps later, you'd like to look around the estate, 419 00:25:30,517 --> 00:25:33,317 - Maybe try some sport? - These will take all day. 420 00:25:33,319 --> 00:25:37,188 Anyway, i have the beginnings of a cold. 421 00:25:37,190 --> 00:25:39,858 If there's anything you need, please shout. 422 00:25:41,828 --> 00:25:44,495 Look, i'm in business myself, 423 00:25:44,497 --> 00:25:46,665 And i know that the accounts aren't... 424 00:25:46,667 --> 00:25:49,333 All they should be. 425 00:25:49,335 --> 00:25:51,235 I'm grieved to hear it. 426 00:26:11,291 --> 00:26:14,626 Well, eight seconds down from monday. 427 00:26:14,628 --> 00:26:15,927 Are you all right? 428 00:26:15,929 --> 00:26:18,396 I didn't sleep too well last night. 429 00:26:18,398 --> 00:26:19,998 Big race nerves. 430 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,334 You are carrying the hopes and dreams of our gender, 431 00:26:23,336 --> 00:26:24,769 The first time ever 432 00:26:24,771 --> 00:26:27,138 That women have entered the glenbogle hill race. 433 00:26:27,140 --> 00:26:29,941 Another nail in the coffin of patriarchy. 434 00:26:29,943 --> 00:26:31,910 Me and my big mouth. 435 00:26:31,912 --> 00:26:34,079 But i've complete faith in you, katrina. 436 00:26:34,081 --> 00:26:36,081 You go and win it, dear. 437 00:26:36,083 --> 00:26:38,216 Win it for all the sisters, yes! 438 00:26:50,631 --> 00:26:52,664 Where is the wretched thing? 439 00:27:04,410 --> 00:27:05,944 Everything all right? 440 00:27:05,946 --> 00:27:07,846 Oh, yes. Fine. 441 00:27:34,975 --> 00:27:36,975 The main course'll be very simple. 442 00:27:36,977 --> 00:27:38,943 Salmon, fresh out of the river, 443 00:27:38,945 --> 00:27:40,945 And new potatoes from golly's garden, 444 00:27:40,947 --> 00:27:43,247 In a plain, white sauce. 445 00:27:43,249 --> 00:27:45,116 Is it disaster proof? 446 00:27:45,118 --> 00:27:47,185 And what's that supposed to mean? 447 00:27:47,187 --> 00:27:48,853 I mean it, lexie, no funny business. 448 00:27:48,855 --> 00:27:50,488 Our future is in this man's hands. 449 00:27:53,526 --> 00:27:56,061 Yoo-Hoo. Would the fair lady of the kitchen 450 00:27:56,063 --> 00:27:57,595 Allow me to enter her domain? 451 00:27:57,597 --> 00:27:58,629 Come away in. 452 00:27:58,631 --> 00:28:00,699 You can enter my domain any time you like. 453 00:28:00,701 --> 00:28:02,500 Just returning the tea things. 454 00:28:02,502 --> 00:28:05,770 I have to say, lexie, when it comes to scones, you are an artist. 455 00:28:05,772 --> 00:28:07,906 Thanks. You'll be staying to dinner then? 456 00:28:07,908 --> 00:28:11,009 How can i refuse? I was wondering, my trousers? 457 00:28:11,011 --> 00:28:12,443 Oh. 458 00:28:14,881 --> 00:28:17,215 Cleaned and pressed. 459 00:28:17,217 --> 00:28:18,516 Thank you. 460 00:28:18,518 --> 00:28:22,187 The crease, a thing of beauty. 461 00:28:22,189 --> 00:28:24,022 Oh, why, thank you, kind sir. 462 00:28:24,024 --> 00:28:26,191 It's nice to be appreciated. 463 00:28:34,768 --> 00:28:36,567 - Have you told him, mother? - Yes. 464 00:28:36,569 --> 00:28:38,569 - And he knows what's expected? - Of course. 465 00:28:38,571 --> 00:28:40,105 Will he behave himself? 466 00:28:40,107 --> 00:28:42,941 Look, i found it. 467 00:28:44,477 --> 00:28:46,477 Okay, okay. 468 00:28:48,648 --> 00:28:51,182 Ah, good evening. I hope you're hungry. 469 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,026 This is delicious. What is it? 470 00:29:02,028 --> 00:29:03,461 Nettle and raspberry soup 471 00:29:03,463 --> 00:29:05,296 With a sprinkling of orkney cheese. 472 00:29:05,298 --> 00:29:07,632 Oh, will i get stung? 473 00:29:09,302 --> 00:29:12,436 You said it, pal. 474 00:29:12,438 --> 00:29:14,906 I'd quite like some of the pattern left on that... 475 00:29:14,908 --> 00:29:16,374 If you don't mind. 476 00:29:21,481 --> 00:29:24,215 - Enjoy that, did you, hector? - It smells of wet dog. 477 00:29:24,217 --> 00:29:27,152 - And i love you, too. - ( fleming chuckles ) 478 00:29:27,154 --> 00:29:28,519 Isn't she wonderful? 479 00:29:28,521 --> 00:29:32,791 Feisty, witty, a brilliant cook, but tasty herself. 480 00:29:34,161 --> 00:29:37,028 Anyway, you were saying about the books? 481 00:29:37,030 --> 00:29:38,797 The boo—? The books, yes. 482 00:29:38,799 --> 00:29:40,298 Yes, well, they're very good. 483 00:29:40,300 --> 00:29:43,534 They convey a very accurate picture of the enterprise. 484 00:29:43,536 --> 00:29:45,636 Yes, i was rather afraid of that. 485 00:29:45,638 --> 00:29:49,407 Which is, if the glenbogle estate were a wet dog— 486 00:29:49,409 --> 00:29:52,143 To take your analogy, mr. Macdonald— 487 00:29:52,145 --> 00:29:54,112 The most humane course of action would be 488 00:29:54,114 --> 00:29:56,948 To rub it down with an old towel and shoot the mutt. 489 00:30:05,692 --> 00:30:06,991 - How's it going? - All right. 490 00:30:06,993 --> 00:30:08,827 These are for molly and hector. 491 00:30:08,829 --> 00:30:10,628 You get the others. 492 00:30:10,630 --> 00:30:12,864 Which one's his? The gowk in the suit? 493 00:30:12,866 --> 00:30:14,899 That one there. The biggest portion. 494 00:30:18,004 --> 00:30:19,003 Right. 495 00:30:19,005 --> 00:30:20,671 I'll give you tasty. 496 00:30:23,509 --> 00:30:25,243 Pinstriped prat. 497 00:30:27,981 --> 00:30:30,414 Look, i can't disagree with you. 498 00:30:30,416 --> 00:30:31,549 I run my own business. 499 00:30:31,551 --> 00:30:33,084 Did i mention that? 500 00:30:33,086 --> 00:30:34,719 And i know that this estate 501 00:30:34,721 --> 00:30:37,956 Hasn't been run on very professional lines. 502 00:30:37,958 --> 00:30:39,523 That's all right, don't mind me. 503 00:30:39,525 --> 00:30:40,859 Just pretend i don't exist. 504 00:30:40,861 --> 00:30:42,360 But the thing is, 505 00:30:42,362 --> 00:30:44,795 I believe there is something here worth fighting for. 506 00:30:44,797 --> 00:30:46,231 Salmon. 507 00:30:46,233 --> 00:30:48,266 Caught this morning from the river bogle, 508 00:30:48,268 --> 00:30:51,069 Lightly poached with a plain white sauce. 509 00:30:51,071 --> 00:30:52,036 Lovely. 510 00:30:54,574 --> 00:30:56,241 Sorry, you were saying? 511 00:30:56,243 --> 00:31:00,511 I— we have great plans for developing glenbogle. 512 00:31:00,513 --> 00:31:02,881 For giving it life, making it prosper. 513 00:31:02,883 --> 00:31:05,616 But how could you possibly generate the income? 514 00:31:05,618 --> 00:31:07,551 We— we have all sorts of ideas. 515 00:31:07,553 --> 00:31:11,756 - Luxury foodstuffs for one. - Height of vulgarity. 516 00:31:11,758 --> 00:31:13,157 A corporate retreat. 517 00:31:13,159 --> 00:31:16,194 Senior managers brain-Storming business strategy 518 00:31:16,196 --> 00:31:18,796 In the unique environment of this fantastic old house. 519 00:31:18,798 --> 00:31:21,232 And what about the aged residents of this fantastic old house? 520 00:31:21,234 --> 00:31:24,668 - Hector! - Your father obviously doesn't share your vision. 521 00:31:24,670 --> 00:31:26,537 I run glenbogle, mr. Fleming, not my father. 522 00:31:28,074 --> 00:31:30,174 Well, i'm sorry, it's not gonna happen. 523 00:31:30,176 --> 00:31:33,444 At least not with my bank's money. 524 00:31:33,446 --> 00:31:36,915 - This looks delicious. - Turn it into some wretched b and b, 525 00:31:36,917 --> 00:31:39,317 And the place'll be full of oiks like this fellow, 526 00:31:39,319 --> 00:31:41,452 Dropping his h's all over the shop. 527 00:31:50,964 --> 00:31:52,596 Mr. Fleming? 528 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,534 What's the matter? 529 00:31:56,536 --> 00:31:58,036 I've been poisoned. 530 00:32:06,479 --> 00:32:07,778 I think i'm gonna be sick. 531 00:32:14,887 --> 00:32:16,754 Oh, mine tastes fine. 532 00:32:16,756 --> 00:32:18,923 Girl's pulled one out of the bag at last. 533 00:32:24,030 --> 00:32:25,229 No more. 534 00:32:25,231 --> 00:32:27,966 Unless you can give me a check for £100,000 535 00:32:27,968 --> 00:32:30,301 As a clear indication of your ability and willingness 536 00:32:30,303 --> 00:32:32,437 To clear the estate's indebtedness, 537 00:32:32,439 --> 00:32:35,006 The bank will take steps to protect its position. 538 00:32:35,008 --> 00:32:37,141 Can you write me such a check? 539 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,213 Of course not. 540 00:32:42,215 --> 00:32:44,415 Very well. 541 00:32:44,417 --> 00:32:45,783 So be it. 542 00:32:48,588 --> 00:32:49,520 Excuse me. 543 00:32:52,592 --> 00:32:53,858 Right. 544 00:32:53,860 --> 00:32:55,460 Yes, my man! 545 00:32:55,462 --> 00:32:58,729 - Get in! Get right in! - What's up with you? 546 00:32:58,731 --> 00:33:00,498 Medication wearing off? 547 00:33:01,901 --> 00:33:04,668 Jokes are one thing, i can take as many as you throw down. 548 00:33:04,670 --> 00:33:07,338 But sabotage is another. 549 00:33:07,340 --> 00:33:09,540 This is probably meaningless, but what the hell? 550 00:33:09,542 --> 00:33:11,909 - You're sacked. - Archie! 551 00:33:18,018 --> 00:33:20,985 Right. Start talking, slabhead. 552 00:33:20,987 --> 00:33:23,621 I did it for you, honest, to show i cared. 553 00:33:48,014 --> 00:33:50,448 Now does everyone know what to do? 554 00:33:50,450 --> 00:33:52,116 Right. Let's go. 555 00:33:52,118 --> 00:33:55,153 And, guys, be careful out there, okay? 556 00:33:55,155 --> 00:33:56,887 I've always wanted to say that. 557 00:33:58,458 --> 00:34:00,558 Molly? Molly? 558 00:34:01,894 --> 00:34:03,961 What are we gonna do about the money? 559 00:34:03,963 --> 00:34:06,264 Ah, well, i have a cunning plan. 560 00:34:11,371 --> 00:34:15,239 Hey, big boy. Wakey-Wakey. 561 00:34:15,241 --> 00:34:18,909 - Lexie. - You feeling better? 562 00:34:18,911 --> 00:34:21,446 Now, you're going to eat the nice breakfast 563 00:34:21,448 --> 00:34:23,214 That i prepared for you. 564 00:34:23,216 --> 00:34:26,284 Then you and i are going to go off on a little jaunt together. 565 00:34:26,286 --> 00:34:29,420 - But i-I have to get back to— - Oh, really? 566 00:34:29,422 --> 00:34:32,557 Life that exciting in hanwell, or ealing even? 567 00:34:33,759 --> 00:34:35,460 Lexie doesn't offer herself 568 00:34:35,462 --> 00:34:37,828 To any old tom, dick, or archie, you know. 569 00:34:39,299 --> 00:34:40,598 Right. 570 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,166 I'll meet you by the bike sheds 571 00:34:42,168 --> 00:34:44,435 In 10 minutes, fleming. 572 00:34:44,437 --> 00:34:46,604 Or should i call you flem for short? 573 00:34:59,119 --> 00:35:00,551 My man. 574 00:35:00,553 --> 00:35:02,620 My poor wee man. 575 00:35:02,622 --> 00:35:04,422 You ready for adventure? 576 00:35:04,424 --> 00:35:06,557 Jump on. We'll head for the hills. 577 00:35:11,464 --> 00:35:12,696 This is golly, by the way, 578 00:35:12,698 --> 00:35:15,065 The best hunter this side of the rockies. 579 00:35:15,067 --> 00:35:16,800 Nice to meet you, golly. 580 00:35:22,142 --> 00:35:24,275 Is that honest bob mcdougall? 581 00:35:24,277 --> 00:35:25,809 Now then, my man, 582 00:35:25,811 --> 00:35:27,512 I gather you've got a book open 583 00:35:27,514 --> 00:35:29,547 On the glenbogle hill race? 584 00:35:29,549 --> 00:35:31,815 Good, 'cause i'd like to make a very large bet. 585 00:35:32,918 --> 00:35:33,917 Five thousand. 586 00:35:33,919 --> 00:35:37,388 Yes, that's right, 5,000. 587 00:35:39,825 --> 00:35:42,126 Have you seen our executioner this morning? 588 00:35:42,128 --> 00:35:45,062 You missed him, he's gone. Where in heaven's name is lexie? 589 00:35:45,064 --> 00:35:47,064 She's gone, too. Archie sacked her. 590 00:35:47,066 --> 00:35:49,534 - You'll have to make your own breakfast. - What? 591 00:35:49,536 --> 00:35:51,536 - You're going to be late. - Late for what? 592 00:35:51,538 --> 00:35:53,070 The hill race, silly. 593 00:35:53,072 --> 00:35:55,173 Yes, let's all go on a fun run. Most timely. 594 00:35:55,175 --> 00:35:57,141 We're all washed up, but what the heck? 595 00:35:57,143 --> 00:35:59,577 I suppose you want me to wear a silly costume, too. 596 00:35:59,579 --> 00:36:01,179 What is it, the back end of a horse? 597 00:36:01,181 --> 00:36:02,780 Clown outfit might be appropriate. 598 00:36:02,782 --> 00:36:04,715 But you used to love athletics at school. 599 00:36:04,717 --> 00:36:06,450 Only when i was trying to run away. 600 00:36:06,452 --> 00:36:07,951 Katrina said you'd chicken out. 601 00:36:07,953 --> 00:36:10,354 She used to run for the scottish universities. 602 00:36:10,356 --> 00:36:12,590 Please. Put on your shorts and run. 603 00:36:12,592 --> 00:36:15,626 Just do this for your silly old mum, hmm? 604 00:36:20,099 --> 00:36:21,532 I've got the bread. 605 00:36:21,534 --> 00:36:23,734 Now all we need is some means of toasting it. 606 00:36:25,938 --> 00:36:27,605 Are you sure these will be okay? 607 00:36:27,607 --> 00:36:29,039 Listen, dunc, i've come across 608 00:36:29,041 --> 00:36:31,676 A few intellectually challenged creatures in my time, 609 00:36:31,678 --> 00:36:33,844 But these trout are truly cretinous. 610 00:36:57,370 --> 00:36:58,902 Yee-Ha! 611 00:37:17,590 --> 00:37:19,290 I've never been fishing before. 612 00:37:19,292 --> 00:37:20,424 Neither have i. 613 00:37:20,426 --> 00:37:22,360 Least not in a river. 614 00:37:22,362 --> 00:37:23,994 Careful, man, you'll frighten the fish. 615 00:37:47,853 --> 00:37:49,853 Come on. 616 00:37:49,855 --> 00:37:52,390 Off you go. Good boy. 617 00:37:52,392 --> 00:37:54,392 Ah, good luck, my boy. 618 00:37:54,394 --> 00:37:55,793 Thank you. 619 00:37:55,795 --> 00:37:57,728 - I want you to wear this. - What is it? 620 00:37:57,730 --> 00:37:59,830 Macdonald of glenbogle's tam-O'-Shanter. 621 00:37:59,832 --> 00:38:02,266 The fifth laird wore it at culloden, 622 00:38:02,268 --> 00:38:04,835 When he escaped the clutches of the redcoats. 623 00:38:04,837 --> 00:38:06,704 The very event we're commemorating today. 624 00:38:06,706 --> 00:38:09,440 - It's filthy. - It's history. 625 00:38:09,442 --> 00:38:12,209 If this is the last time a macdonald runs in the hill race, 626 00:38:12,211 --> 00:38:13,611 It must be worn. 627 00:38:13,613 --> 00:38:15,746 To complete the ancient and venerated circle. 628 00:38:15,748 --> 00:38:17,648 - Exactly, kilwillie. - All right. 629 00:38:19,151 --> 00:38:20,951 Good boy. 630 00:38:25,858 --> 00:38:28,058 It's okay. You can play with him till he's silly. 631 00:38:28,060 --> 00:38:30,461 - He's loving it. - Oh, my goodness. 632 00:38:30,463 --> 00:38:32,229 I'm touching him. 633 00:38:33,333 --> 00:38:34,699 Slowly, slowly, slowly. 634 00:38:36,902 --> 00:38:38,769 I'm tickling him. 635 00:38:38,771 --> 00:38:40,471 I'm tickling a bloody trout. 636 00:38:40,473 --> 00:38:43,140 Go on, you can do it. 637 00:38:43,142 --> 00:38:45,209 Net, lexie. 638 00:38:51,217 --> 00:38:52,650 Right, that's that then. 639 00:38:54,754 --> 00:38:56,420 I've got things to do. 640 00:38:59,225 --> 00:39:01,392 Oh, my man. 641 00:39:01,394 --> 00:39:03,527 My hunter. 642 00:39:03,529 --> 00:39:05,363 I caught a fish with my bare hands. 643 00:39:05,365 --> 00:39:07,931 Oh, lexie, i don't know. I felt special. 644 00:39:07,933 --> 00:39:09,600 You are special, wee man. 645 00:39:09,602 --> 00:39:12,670 Oh, lexie, i'm having such a wonderful day. 646 00:39:12,672 --> 00:39:14,338 That's 'cause you're pished. 647 00:39:14,340 --> 00:39:15,906 You'll soon get used to it. 648 00:39:21,414 --> 00:39:23,614 What, what have i let myself in for? 649 00:39:31,758 --> 00:39:33,758 Duncan? 650 00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,526 Oh, my sponsors insisted. 651 00:39:35,528 --> 00:39:38,228 - Who's that then? - Wallace's garage. 652 00:39:38,230 --> 00:39:40,230 Listen, boss, about the other night, 653 00:39:40,232 --> 00:39:42,032 It wasn't really lexie's fault— 654 00:39:42,034 --> 00:39:44,234 Please move to the starting line. 655 00:39:45,371 --> 00:39:47,070 This is the last call. 656 00:39:47,072 --> 00:39:48,372 Ladies and gentlemen, 657 00:39:48,374 --> 00:39:49,607 Would all competitors 658 00:39:49,609 --> 00:39:51,475 Please take their places at the start? 659 00:39:53,312 --> 00:39:56,547 Very nice. You look like an extra from "chariots of fire." 660 00:39:56,549 --> 00:39:58,816 I'll soon burn you off, just you watch. 661 00:39:58,818 --> 00:40:01,151 - Dream on, pal. - A word, son. 662 00:40:01,153 --> 00:40:03,020 - Not now. - Now. 663 00:40:03,022 --> 00:40:05,756 Would all competitors please take their places at the start? 664 00:40:05,758 --> 00:40:07,458 Your ma has put a bet on the race. 665 00:40:07,460 --> 00:40:08,826 Big money. 666 00:40:08,828 --> 00:40:10,060 What, on me? 667 00:40:10,062 --> 00:40:12,396 On katrina. Right? 668 00:40:12,398 --> 00:40:14,031 So you just make sure she wins. 669 00:40:14,033 --> 00:40:16,099 Okay? 670 00:40:16,101 --> 00:40:17,468 You want me to throw the race? 671 00:40:17,470 --> 00:40:19,703 Well, i won't, i've had enough. 672 00:40:19,705 --> 00:40:22,205 No, this is where archie macdonald makes his last stand. 673 00:40:22,207 --> 00:40:24,341 Even if it turns out to be little big horn. 674 00:40:24,343 --> 00:40:25,409 Away you go! 675 00:40:29,649 --> 00:40:31,582 Come on, duncan. Come on. 676 00:40:38,023 --> 00:40:39,657 There he is. Archie, come on. 677 00:40:39,659 --> 00:40:42,326 Come on, my boy. Run hard, run true. 678 00:41:14,694 --> 00:41:17,361 - Can't cope, eh? - Just pacing myself. 679 00:42:04,010 --> 00:42:06,443 Oh, lexie, this is the specialest day of my life. 680 00:42:06,445 --> 00:42:08,245 I don't want to work in a bank. 681 00:42:08,247 --> 00:42:10,581 I want to live here, in a wee cottage, 682 00:42:10,583 --> 00:42:12,716 And you could have my children. 683 00:42:12,718 --> 00:42:14,418 And i could be a lumberjack 684 00:42:14,420 --> 00:42:16,286 And breathe in the fresh air 685 00:42:16,288 --> 00:42:19,122 And chop logs, with a chopper. 686 00:42:19,124 --> 00:42:21,158 Oh, flem, you're a crazy guy. 687 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,326 I am, i'm crazy for you. 688 00:42:23,328 --> 00:42:25,729 There isn't anybody like you in ealing. 689 00:42:25,731 --> 00:42:27,798 Oh, lexie, you're the most 690 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,667 Wonderful girl i've ever met. 691 00:42:29,669 --> 00:42:32,502 Apart from my own darling mother. 692 00:42:32,504 --> 00:42:35,439 May i kiss you? I should like to very much. 693 00:42:37,242 --> 00:42:39,443 Okay. 694 00:42:39,445 --> 00:42:41,645 But... No tongues, mind. 695 00:43:04,169 --> 00:43:06,169 Duncan? 696 00:43:08,608 --> 00:43:10,507 I'm gonna kill you! 697 00:43:12,411 --> 00:43:14,745 Come on then, i'll fight you for her. 698 00:43:17,883 --> 00:43:19,883 Touch her again and you'll get a double dose. 699 00:43:19,885 --> 00:43:22,052 Duncan, i'm not gonna tell you again! 700 00:43:22,054 --> 00:43:23,453 I warned you about that. I mean it. 701 00:43:28,894 --> 00:43:31,294 - I've told you before! - Lexie! 702 00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,767 Ah, help! 703 00:43:40,740 --> 00:43:42,706 Flem... Archie! 704 00:43:45,277 --> 00:43:47,477 Help me, i'm going down. 705 00:43:47,479 --> 00:43:49,179 Oh, dear, what a shame. 706 00:43:49,181 --> 00:43:51,115 Help me, please. I'm going to die. 707 00:43:51,117 --> 00:43:52,883 Sorry, i'm in a race just now. 708 00:43:52,885 --> 00:43:55,285 Archie, please, please, i'm drowning. 709 00:43:58,924 --> 00:44:00,624 Here, grab my hand. That's it. 710 00:44:11,771 --> 00:44:13,270 I could use this, you know. 711 00:44:13,272 --> 00:44:17,107 A less scrupulous man would, you know what i mean? 712 00:44:17,109 --> 00:44:19,576 Archie, come on, you can win this. 713 00:44:19,578 --> 00:44:21,344 I told you i'd catch you. 714 00:44:37,529 --> 00:44:38,896 Who is it? 715 00:44:38,898 --> 00:44:40,864 Come on, boy. 716 00:44:43,069 --> 00:44:44,001 Katrina. 717 00:44:52,778 --> 00:44:54,144 Suffering there, are you? 718 00:44:54,146 --> 00:44:56,080 Just doing what i'm told. 719 00:44:56,082 --> 00:44:58,381 I'll tell you what, i'll let you win, 720 00:44:58,383 --> 00:45:00,350 If you give me that bit of land. 721 00:45:00,352 --> 00:45:01,819 I'll beat you. 722 00:45:01,821 --> 00:45:03,453 I'm faster than you. 723 00:45:03,455 --> 00:45:05,555 Sassenachs beaten again. 724 00:45:09,328 --> 00:45:10,828 I'm as scottish as you are. 725 00:45:10,830 --> 00:45:13,831 Ha, you scottish? Whoa! 726 00:45:13,833 --> 00:45:15,532 Katrina! 727 00:45:18,104 --> 00:45:19,937 - Katrina, are you all right? - I'm fine. 728 00:45:23,175 --> 00:45:25,709 - Come on. - Go on, you can still win. 729 00:45:39,792 --> 00:45:41,258 Jolly sporting of the boy. 730 00:45:41,260 --> 00:45:43,127 His ancestors would be proud of him. 731 00:45:43,129 --> 00:45:45,095 Yes, it was a good show. 732 00:45:56,608 --> 00:45:59,276 The winner of this year's glenbogle hill race. 733 00:46:02,148 --> 00:46:04,347 Welcome to planet glenbogle. 734 00:46:22,567 --> 00:46:24,802 Nice one, duncan. Shame about the costume. 735 00:46:31,010 --> 00:46:32,609 Well done. 736 00:46:32,611 --> 00:46:34,477 And the winner of the women's race 737 00:46:34,479 --> 00:46:36,780 And equal second, katrina finlay. 738 00:46:42,587 --> 00:46:44,354 Well done. 739 00:46:46,725 --> 00:46:48,158 Oh, and by the way, katrina, 740 00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:50,593 You can have that land for the school. 741 00:46:53,232 --> 00:46:54,764 Thank you very much, archie. 742 00:46:54,766 --> 00:46:56,900 And we weren't equal second by the way. 743 00:46:56,902 --> 00:46:58,702 I crossed the line first. 744 00:46:58,704 --> 00:47:00,770 It's a mere technicality. 745 00:47:03,843 --> 00:47:06,143 Well done, arch. 746 00:47:06,145 --> 00:47:08,578 Can i just say sorry? I don't really want you to go. 747 00:47:08,580 --> 00:47:10,513 Oh, i'm not going anywhere, boy. 748 00:47:10,515 --> 00:47:12,382 Now hush your mouth and give us a kiss. 749 00:47:16,856 --> 00:47:18,188 Give him a kiss, girls. 750 00:47:18,190 --> 00:47:20,991 Go on. Lovely. 751 00:47:20,993 --> 00:47:22,659 And again. 752 00:47:24,763 --> 00:47:26,129 Thank you. 753 00:47:28,567 --> 00:47:29,933 Justine. 754 00:47:29,935 --> 00:47:32,369 You've kissed virtually every woman in scotland. 755 00:47:32,371 --> 00:47:33,904 Aren't you going to give me one? 756 00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,087 - You could have stayed, you know. - Stayed? 757 00:47:50,089 --> 00:47:51,554 I've been insulted. 758 00:47:51,556 --> 00:47:52,689 I've been poisoned, 759 00:47:52,691 --> 00:47:54,424 Assaulted by a mad pict 760 00:47:54,426 --> 00:47:56,459 And chased into a river. 761 00:47:56,461 --> 00:47:58,561 I've ruined a good suit. 762 00:47:58,563 --> 00:48:00,230 I nearly died. 763 00:48:00,232 --> 00:48:01,965 I'm sorry. 764 00:48:01,967 --> 00:48:03,500 I've had the time of my life, archie. 765 00:48:05,670 --> 00:48:07,938 The bank will give you another six months. 766 00:48:07,940 --> 00:48:11,341 We'll extend the overdraft by another 75k. 767 00:48:11,343 --> 00:48:16,079 - Make the most of it. - Thank you very much. 768 00:48:16,081 --> 00:48:18,982 Tell lexie, it's lancelot. 769 00:48:18,984 --> 00:48:21,418 - Hmm? - My name. 770 00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:29,492 Right. 771 00:48:29,494 --> 00:48:31,128 We need to talk... 772 00:48:31,130 --> 00:48:32,362 Now.